Hit the Ground Running

I didn't. 

Not that you thought I did, but I wanted to clarify that I didn't hit the ground running. I hit the ground, and my legs peaced out of the picture. 

There's been a lot of other figurative running going on though. For context, I was climbing a rock wall and made it to the top pretty quickly - I made it to the floor even faster. I haven't been able to think of a more polite way to say this - but that's all you need to know about my fall. Please don't ask me for more details; there's enough emotional anxiety with that event that I don't want to relive.

The moment I hit the floor other things started running. Pain messages to my brain that I couldn't shut down. I knew I couldn't move until the EMTs got there, but I wanted a distraction from the pain. I asked someone to tell me a story. A nice German lady started asking me questions about home and why I was in Germany. 

Pretty soon, I realized I wanted prayer, so I started to ask someone to pray. As I turned my head, I noticed Hanna was already praying; I asked her to pray aloud. I don't know what she was praying - it could have been that she would still make the train to Freiburg that night - I didn't even care. What meant the most to me is that in this serious moment, Hanna brought the Lord in. Of course he was there at the moment of impact, but Hanna instantly acknowledged his presence and brought him to the center. Hanna is the kind of person I want in any crisis. 

The EMTs got there a lot faster than I expected, and I was so thankful one spoke excellent English. They loaded me into the ambulance to take me to the closest hospital. The nice EMT told me where we were going, but in my pain I heard "Bail" rather than "Basel." It wasn't until post-op I realized I was in Switzerland. I felt really stupid for telling the EMT I'd never been to the biggest city near where I lived - I go to church in Basel. I figured he'd forgive me for the misunderstanding anyway. My experience with that ambulance crew was fantastic. I was praising God there are people like my best friend Kara all over the world. Kara is the kind of person I want to show up when I need an ambulance, and this guy was as kind, calm, and intelligent as Kara (from what I could tell).

The ER doctors and nurses were not all as Kara-like, but they took good care of me. I only have one complaint about that whole ER experience: if you're going to run a pregnancy text no matter what my answer, don't bother asking me if I'm pregnant. At one point they told me we had to wait for the results before I could get a CT scan, and my anger came out for the first time. "I'm not sexually active," I enunciated as clearly as possible, "I promise we can get the scan NOW."

Not surprisingly, they didn't believe me, but my frustration was that they had even bothered to ask if I was pregnant when they first wheeled me into the ER. Just don't ask! However, it didn't seem worth staying focused on since there was plenty of pain demanding my attention. 

Eventually the spine surgeon came, and we shook hands. "I can make no promises of you ever being able to walk again," she told me. 

"Thank you," I replied because good manners are under appreciated in the ER, but then realized thanking someone for telling you you might never walk again seemed weird, "for your honesty," I added hoping that was more reasonable, also hoping it would speed up my journey to the operating table if I complemented her. I just wanted the pain to stop.

At some point, I was asked if there was someone I needed to call. I said no because my housemates knew, and my parents were in America. It didn't seem helpful for them to know right now; they couldn't do anything. I was eventually convinced to surrender my parents' phone number though I was still foggy on the why. Still pre-op, a nurse brought me a phone and told me it was my dad. I wanted to make sure he told my mom not to worry. I knew my God had an amazing plan I couldn't yet see, so I asked my dad to pray God would be glorified even though I couldn't think of how that would happen at the time. I also figured while I had him on the line, I'd ask my parents to pray that I could walk again too. I sortof added that as an afterthought and went back to wondering when they'd finally operate. 

I was so thankful when the kind anesthesiologist finally lowered the mask on my face. I gasped for air when she told me to breathe slowly, but I did my best to take deep breaths and go under more quickly. I was ready for the next step whatever that might be. 

I woke up in a big post-op room and brightened up when Christine and Sandra walked in. They chatted to me for a bit and told me they'd take my stuff home with them. I asked them to leave my epipen because they don't have epipens in Germany. 

"You're in Switzerland," Christine told me. 

Basel. Not Bail. The EMTs surprise made so much sense in that moment. I was too tired to feel too embarrassed, so I went back to sleep and woke up the next time in the room that would be my home for at least the next week. My housemates came to visit me and make me laugh - what jerks - laughter is so painful after back surgery. It's also the best thing for me because I value humor so much. My sense of humor wasn't broken by the fall - it's been running, searching for any way to make someone else smile as my housemates make me smile. 

I'm also finding my housemates aren't the only ones making me laugh. Visiting friends, good-natured nurses, sweet cards from students, and funny Facebook posts or messages all strengthen my few working muscles as they make me laugh. The thousands of other encouraging posts that make me smile are so valuable as well. I haven't responded to very many individually, but please know I'm reading every single comment and message on Facebook. They mean so much to me. 

I still have a long road of recovery ahead and still no guarantee of ever walking again, but there is security in my God who has constantly shown me he is so much stronger than I am. 

God has been faithful to take control and protect me when he draws me out of my comfort zone and deeper into his arms. All the time I've had in bed has given me opportunity to see how this fall is a continuation of the lesson God began to teach me in November 2012.

One fateful Sunday, bad-attitude Bekah told me she hated coming to youth group because she knew everything and thought she should be teaching the middle schoolers. Being a youth leader, I knew students often use hyperbole and that bad-attitude Bekah was not the real Bekah. However, her comment still struck a chord in my heart - was there a chance she looked at my life and thought, "Laura is comfortable and just teaches those younger than her; that's the Christian life"? I was mortified at the possibility and knew in that moment it was time to get uncomfortable in my faith to show Bekah and all my other students that the Christian life has nothing to do with comfort and everything to do with knowing more of Jesus. 

Currently, pain comes and goes, and I haven't felt actually, fully comfortable for over nine days, but I know more of my Savior who gave up the comforts of heaven to experience the most excruciating of pain I order to reconcile me to him and that he might walk with me through the physical agony that still doesn't come close to what he went through for me. I'm closer to Jesus because of this; I take great joy in that. 

I'm also blessed to know that the Lord is using my story to soften the hearts of others. Even before the fall, God was stripping away bad-attitude Bekah to let my beautiful Bekah draw closer to him. I called her last night to confirm she was okay with me finally using her name in describing the conversation I consistently use in describing my call overseas because I see the Lord moving her closer to him. In just a few weeks she'll be getting uncomfortable to serve Jesus in a new way as she travels to India to love on the children at Gan Sabra.

Knowing more of Jesus alone makes all my discomfort worthwhile to me, but I'm so blessed and humbled to hear from students like Tori and Grace who are also going to India and have let the Lord use me in their lives. 

However you have found yourself connected to my story, please let me know how you have learned more about Jesus - those encouraging stories mean so much to me. I love to hear how people are learning more about God and praising him because of the work he's doing with my life. I'd be so blessed by your stories, and even more so if you can include a joke or a pun. I've got to work out my muscles, so try to make me laugh. Just don't make fun of any spelling or grammar errors in this post because I typed the whole thing on my iPhone. Anything else is fair game - particularly fart jokes are good for bedridden patients. 

Finally Finals

Looking up definitions, late night study sessions, last minute reviews, there's so much stress around finals for students. It's pretty busy for teachers too.

We've only been back for a week now, and I'm getting ready to say goodbye to my Bible students and shuffle my freshmen for the second semester. I'll have my ninth graders in all different class periods, and I'll get a new group of upperclassmen in my Spiritual Formation class. I'm excited for the new semester, but I'm also a little reluctant to let my amazing group of Bible students go.

Even when they acted like zombies the weeks leading up to Christmas break, I was so excited to teach Bible class everyday. I'm equally excited to teach the amazing freshmen here. This week my ninth graders gave speeches, and I was blown away by their confidence and poise as they told the class about leaders in the scientific revolution, prophets, or philosophers which they had researched. The jolly ranchers may have been the right incentive for them to give their best.

The last student to volunteer to go today told me she'd never had a jolly rancher before, so she didn't really get the excitement of the American kids who missed them so much. One of my Swiss students told me it was the second jolly rancher she's ever had. It's strange to hear what the kids here crave so much - a different student brought back a huge stash of jolly ranchers from the States during her last visit along with candy corn for her friends.

I'm not immune to missing things from the States (Trader Joe's instant coffee, Trader Joe's kettle corn, Trader Joe's in general), but I was struck by the comments of my students who had never had access to jolly ranchers. Something about the simplicity of their acceptance of the treat without any emotional attachment to the past spoke to how they live in the present. I want to cultivate that kind of gratitude for the gifts I have without pining over the loss of Trader Joe's or Starbucks down the street.

I love the care packages with Trader Joe's (or Longbottom, Dapper & Wise, or Stumptown), so please don't stop sending them, but I also love the opportunity to be content with what's around me, thanking God for each day with my students and the German version of All Dressed Up Instant Coffee. I'm thankful for each student in my first semester Bible class, and I look forward to the new group coming up.

While the semester has in so many ways flown by, I'm eager to see what new things God will bring about now that it's finally finals and I'm starting my second semester at BFA.

Measure in Cups of Coffee

How do you measure a life? My vote has always been in cups of coffee - I mean love. But they're pretty similar, right? I drink a lot of coffee, and I've experienced a lot of love this year. Either way, I think I'm doing quite well.

My mom says I don't post enough pictures here, so I thought I'd give a pictoral review of my year. I've had so many changes, and I'm so thankful for every experience I've had along the way. Skip down to the second centered picture to just look at the highlights on the European side of the Atlantic.

 I started 2013 out right - with a bunch of crazy teenagers. I love those kids with all my heart, so much so I left the country for them. They continue to amaze me with their energy and excitement for advancing the Kingdom of God - especially that concerned one on the far left.

 My FUEL kiddos weren't the only ones to inspire me this year. I'm particularly impressed by this young one who let me read to him each week, and was so excited about me serving God that he wanted to support me each month. I'm blessed to have him on my support team. (Happy birthday, Luke!)

 I can't forget this one who I will someday have a Harry Potter marathon with. I got to watch her make her public declaration of faith this year and spent lots of time laughing with her. There's something about the Bax family...

I also got hooded with this brilliant woman. I'm so grateful for the training that prepared me for my role as a teacher at BFA. My graduation was a pretty big milestone this year - it's hard to believe it wouldn't be the biggest.

Filling a lifelong dream of visiting the Children's Museum with this girl was a blast. We didn't even have to lie about her age to get in! Even though we discovered it is, in fact, meant only for toddlers, it was a blast to push every button and twist every knob we could find in that place.

The zoo has always been one of my favorite places, and wandering around it one last time with Olivia was a blast - also hanging out with her and Jonah in OMSI was pretty stinking awesome.

This girl will forever remain one of my favorite people on the planet. Spending the Fourth of July with her was a treat - spending any time with her is - that kid is funny. She's also my only SuperWhoLock friend, so that's a bonus. I'm pretty sure the only people who love her more than I do are her parents. She's high on the list of people who I left the country for, and you can imagine my delight when I heard she's headed off the continent as well to reach out to the Gan Sabra kids in India. 

 My brother from another mother has a huge heart for the same kids in India, and spending time in coffeeshops with him is one of my favorite things - right up there with spontaneous road trips to the coast. I can't wait to get back to Bella and write our next installment of the ultimate geek story.

My year would not have been complete without trip to Colorado to see my family - all my family. LaPlante, Hewett, and everyone at the Embassy. Spending time with my nephew and other favorite little kiddo, Elijah, was so important to me before I packed up the most important of my belongings and headed overseas.

 My year wouldn't be complete without a play date with this amazing girl. She framed my prayer card and put it by my bed. I'm so humbled by the number of times kids have offered to pray for me. Ella's not the only one. I'm so thankful for her prayers and the Stephens kids as well as the Farley kids.

A week before I moved across the globe, I was sent out in style, riding a shark and blessed by two of the most influential women in my life.

The big day finally came, and I found myself in a foreign land where they recycle, sort trash, and have hearty braided beards - it's a little like Portland. In so many other ways it's nothing like Portland (they have Trader Joe's and Starbucks in Portland), but I've loved the transition to this new home.

I made my way to France on German unification day and discovered the Disney inspiring beauty of Colmar. I also had an amazing day laughing and taking pictures with my wonderful new friends. There's a fantastic collection of people excited about education and serving the Lord stationed here in Kandern. I'm privileged to be among them.

 Thanksgiving in Kandern is also a treat. It was a first for me not to have the holiday off, but I was so thankful to show up to work and teach my amazing students. I also was blessed to share an evening meal and time of worship with some fantastic coworkers. 

I occasionally get invited into the middle school clique - it helps if you've got connections. Happy, aka Katrina, and I are pulling for her niece and my nephew to make this bff thing a little more serious someday. It's crazy the connections to people I've found across the ocean. That smirking German teacher in the middle front knows my mom's friend from high school. That cute Canadian to my right knows a kid from my brother dorm section in college. 

 Christine makes this world a better place, and I'm blessed to know her. We first bonded this summer at or TeachBeyond orientation when we discovered our mutual love for Pitch Perfect. She does the best Rebel Wilson impersonation I've ever heard. She also is one of the most incredible people I've ever met. I love living and laughing with her.

Christmas this year was certainly different to be away from my parents, but I was grateful for the opportunity to spend quality time with my Kandern friends on Christmas Eve (pictured here). Watching musicals in my pjs with Sandra, Ahna, and her sister Amanda was certainly not a bad way to celebrate the day.

Bring it on, 2014.

An Unexpected Journey

When I saw this movie for the first time at midnight opening night, my breath caught as I listened to this exchange between Gandalf and Bilbo. I had had a very similar fight with God about six weeks before the movie came out, and felt like I was watching the dialogue between me and my Maker. I was so comfortable in my life where I knew everything around me. I had Charles, my trusty C230, to take me wherever I wanted to go in the greater Portland area. I knew my turf, and I was comfortable with it. I had no desire to leave. 

Yet, I knew it was true that the world is not in my books or maps, and I wanted to learn and grow as a person rather than become stagnant. The only option was out and away from what I knew - my Shire-like Hillsboro, Oregon. What terrified me most was the thought of never coming back. Bilbo voices that, and Gandalf's reply is even more frightening. 

God made me no promise that I could come back after a year or even two. In fact, it seems he wants me in Germany indefinitely. He's building me a life here, and it's changing me, growing me. 

Yesterday I slept in late with the help of my rolladen - dark shutters that keep out the noon day sun so tired teachers can sleep past the sunrise. When I finally got up, I cleaned my room after a week of enjoying lazy days of my three week Christmas break (boarding school bonus). In the late afternoon, I made my way down the hill into town where I joined the stream of English speakers on their way to the theater to watch The Desolation of Smaug "in the original English." We packed out the theater in anticipation of a film on the big screen not dubbed in German. 

Nothing makes me miss my dad more than a good Tolkien film adaptation, but I kept my head above the homesickness and enjoyed every minute of the film. As soon as it ended, I followed the bells to the Lutheran church and entered at the final stroke of six for dress rehearsal for the local choir concert. Sitting in that church listening to Bach on the organ, I realized that my own unexpected journey has taken me so much farther than I could ever have dreamed. 

I am not the person I was when I left, and I still don't know if I'm ever moving back. What I do know is that my unexpected journey is the greatest adventure imaginable. I never imagined that I would ever sing in a local German choir and befriend a dozen women who could not speak my mother tongue. Even though I couldn't understand the majority of the songs in the concert, I loved being a part of a Christmas concert that celebrated the birth of Jesus.

I look forward to continuing to celebrate my Savior's birth this week, and I hope you'll do the same. Frohe Weihnachten!

There are Cats in Germany too

German word of the day: Katze.

Katze means cat.

There are cats here in Germany. They are as cute and flighty as katzen (that's the plural form) in America. It's such an ordinary thing to see a cat running across the street or stalking around our windows - perhaps even running in our house when we're lufting. I used to see neighbors cats making themselves at home in my backyard in the states, so seeing them here makes this place seem a little less foreign. Cats in Germany are just one of the many similarities I've found between my old home and my new one.

There are certainly differences that are hard for me to get used to - the lack of Trader Joe's and Starbucks being at the top of the list. However, these things are barely inconveniences in light of the blessings I've found in living here.

Those of you who know me well may have caught the significance of that last statement - I'm okay without Starbucks because what I've found here is so much better.

Day by day, I'm learning more about my new home in Germany, and I'm discovering that it's a wonderful place to live. I like living close enough to walk to work, the grocery store, the bank, and the post office. I enjoy the cozy feel of a small town that's nestled into forested hills. I also have a fantastic working environment where I'm encouraged and uplifted regularly. I enjoy reading emails from the communications department because Doug makes me laugh (side note - I love working with and teaching so many fantastic Canadians). I love meeting with Jill because she gives me constructive feedback for my teaching. I smile whenever Allison walks into the office because I know she's about to make my day better by just being herself. My students are another amazing blessing of this place; I got half a dozen hugs when the bell rang seventh period Friday from students scattering across the globe for the next three weeks.

My greatest struggle in adapting fully is not knowing the language which is why I'm looking into ways to learn and practice German regularly. Portland will always be my heart's home, but I am living in Kandern now; I want to be fully present where God has planted me for this time. That doesn't mean I have instantly stopped missing things about Portland - I still want a Trader Joe's to open up in town, and I'm pretty sure I could keep a Kandern Starbucks in business by myself - but I do want to celebrate the things I enjoyed in Portland as well as the things I have now in Kandern.

For example, I loved driving out to Hagg's Christmas Tree farm every year of my life before this one to cut down our tree with my parents. I never want to forget the sense of accomplishment I had the year I sawed it down myself. This year, we all chipped in a few euros to have a pre-chopped tree carted up to our house. My housemates and I then spent last Wednesday exchanging gifts and decorating our new family's tree. I even got to bring in another one of my favorite traditions on a whim. Every Christmas morning growing up, my dad would read Luke two before we opened presents; my housemates humored me while I read the advent narrative before we opened our presents. Our Garni family then revealed our secret Santa gifts, and I was overjoyed to find that Dayla had not only bought me a wonderful warm new scarf but also got me a Christmas tree made out of words. I'm so blessed to have new family here who know me well enough to know that I would be delighted by such a fantastic book related decoration.

I'll notice more and more differences between life here and in the Pacific Northwest over the Christmas break, I'm sure, but I'm excited to see the similarities in how I can live life and celebrate my Savior on either side of the Atlantic.

Annual Checkup

A year ago this month I had a couple very rough conversations that led to this long confession about why I needed to move overseas.

I concluded my confession by admitting that I didn't know where I'd be a year from that point, but my intention was to be closer to Jesus. I stand here a year in the future thankful to say that I'm closer to my Savior than I was then; this past year has been an incredible journey as I've made my way to Germany and begun my first year teaching. I've still got a ways to go though. I never want to be satisfied with where I am in my relationship with Jesus, so I celebrate the chapters that have been written so far while continuing to write with the Author and Perfecter of my faith.

I'm so excited that this next year of my journey will be in Germany. I've got an amazing adventure ahead of me, and I love the people God's placed in my life to adventure with me. Some of them are here with me taking crazy pictures in French parking garages, and others are mourning the loss of the magnificent nature of our one time home in the Pacific Northwest. However God's put you in my life, I'm thankful for it, and I'm thankful you're sharing this journey with me.

Tony Hawk Is Old Now

"Miss Hewett, the other Sonne boys might be a while before they get to class," my early arrival to first period told me.
"Why's that?" I asked, taking in the dusting of baby powder on his head, plaid shirt, and skateboard. "What's your spirit day?" I added. I'm getting used to students from different dorms coming into class dressed according to a particular theme when their dorm has a hot lunch day. One week the Blauen girls wore inside out clothing; another day the Liel girls all dressed up like pumpkins.
"Sonne boys are dressed up like old guys; I'm Tony Hawk."
Puzzled, I started to ask why his outfit didn't match his dorm brothers' theme until I realized, "Oh, because Tony Hawk is old now?"
He grinned in agreement.

I saw my life flash before my eyes - if Tony Hawk is old, I'm getting old too.

Before I get too old, though, I'm making some amazing memories. I chuckled as I walked down the hall seeing half a dozen freshmen boys in sweatpants and robes with baby powder coating their heads. One of my boys had so much baby powder, a quick jerk of his head would send up a small cloud of dust. Halfway through class, he slumped in his chair pretending to doze off because, "Miss Hewett, old men fall asleep all the time."
"Not in my English class, they don't."
His junior dorm brother gave me the same line in my second period class.
Sonne kids really get into character for their spirit days.

I love the spirit these kids have for their dorm and their school. Every day there's something new, and I love the laughter and joy that comes into my classroom with spirit days.

I also love the opportunities I have to share my passion for faith and learning in my classroom. While I had five freshmen coated in baby powder in comfy clothes, I got to share with my students the connection between Scrooge's selfishness and our own. Reading literature gives us the opportunity to examine our own lives and see where we can change from being greedy to generous, lecherous to loving, and passive to passionate. Those of you who have seen me talk about literature and my faith know I can get a little emotional in my presentation. After my intense lecture, a freshmen piped up from the scared silence, "I get why you really like being a Bible teacher."
"You mean why I love being an English teacher," I corrected, "This stuff is in all of literature - these amazing connections between the stories, our lives, and our faith."

To be honest, I do love being a Bible teacher too. I have the best of both worlds here at BFA because I get to teach both Bible and English - the two things I'm most passionate about - to teenagers - my third great passion in life.

I love working with youth who think Tony Hawk is old and don't know what cassette tapes are. Sometimes that makes me feel old, but most of the time it excites me to see who the people who will shape the future of this world are. I'm blessed to have the chance to see these kids at BFA be silly and ridiculous while knowing that the junior who pretended to fall asleep in Bible is also one of the brightest kids in the school who is making choices today that positively change the world for Christ. He's the president of NHS here, and I've watched him talk about and plan service projects with a desire to be a servant leader in his school and community. He's not waiting until he's actually an old man to make a difference, and I admire that in the students I work with.

BFA isn't the only place that has amazing students like that either. I came here to serve the kids who dress up like pumpkins and old men, but I left behind some awesome students who prancercize and like pocket painter ponies. I had a great conversation yesterday with a young girl on the other side of the Atlantic from me who, on a regular basis, chooses to put serving others above herself. She gave up participating in the mock trial at her school to do a homework club for kids in her church's neighborhood. Even though only one grade school student comes regularly, she's committed to serving her community through this restructuring of her youth group. She's not willing to back out just because her youth group isn't popular or traditional anymore though some of her friends have stopped attending.

I teared up when she told me last night that she stands by this decision to change her youth group because she recognized that when her youth group was "normal" it was also cliquey. She doesn't want to go back to doing traditional youth group studies because that takes away her opportunity to make new friends her own age who want to impact the world for Jesus.

This brilliant kid also knows how to have fun. Aside from stealing my phone to take fifty selfies before I left, she also is a rock star at prancercizing:

Tony Hawk may be old now, but age doesn't matter when you're making a difference for God's kingdom. One of the most important lessons I've learned while working with youth is that you can make a difference no matter what your age, and you can have fun no matter what your age either. Serving God doesn't mean you can't have any fun. That's why I'm enjoying every minute of my service here in Germany.